The Steward's Desk · Education funding
The kindest version of helping your kids starts with securing your own future. Here's the order, and how to fund both goals at once.
Jesse Plunkett, CEPA®, CRPC®
July 12, 2026 · Meet your advisor · 
Because there are loans, grants, scholarships, and work-study for college, and none of those exist for retirement. If funding tuition leaves your own future unfunded, the shortfall doesn't disappear; it moves to your kids later, at a harder age. That's why most planning frameworks put retirement funding first: it protects both generations.
I say that gently, because the instinct underneath is a good one. Wanting to hand your kids a debt-free start comes from generosity, not bad math. But a college fund built on an underfunded retirement turns into a loan your kids repay later, in worry if not in dollars. It's the oxygen-mask instruction from every preflight briefing: secure your own first, then help the person next to you. There is financing for every stage of education. Nobody will lend you your sixties.
The opposite, usually. A parent who reaches their sixties financially independent never has to lean on their children, move in during a health event, or ask for help with the bills. Modest student loans are a manageable burden at twenty-five. Supporting a parent's retirement in your forties, while raising your own kids, is not.
There's also a version of helping that holds up better than prepaid tuition: showing up at their graduation with your own finances settled, able to help with a security deposit, a wedding, or a grandchild's 529, and never needing help back. Kids benefit from your stability for decades. Tuition is four years.
One number worth knowing sits inside every retirement plan: the saving rate that keeps it funded. When college saving would push you below that rate, the college goal is the one that flexes. When you're comfortably above it, funding a 529 generously is one of the best uses of the surplus. The order doesn't say your kids come last; it says the foundation gets poured first.
With a set split, decided once and automated. First, capture your employer match and fund retirement at the rate your plan calls for. Then commit a fixed monthly amount to the 529, sized to a goal you chose on purpose, such as covering in-state tuition. Automation keeps the split honest when life gets loud.
The exercise behind the split is short. Confirm your retirement baseline first: the saving rate your own plan needs, never less than the full employer match. The Retirement Savings Calculator is a fair way to pressure-test that number. Then decide what share of college you intend to fund. Covering everything, covering half, or covering tuition at your state school are all legitimate answers, and each produces a different monthly number for the 529.
Then automate both transfers and stop renegotiating with yourself every month. A split you set once, on a calm evening, with the trade-offs in front of you, will beat a dozen in-the-moment decisions made after reading a scary tuition headline. With more than one child, separate 529s keep intentions clear, and beneficiary changes can rebalance later if one child's path costs less than another's.
Coordinated help beats surprise help. Grandparents can contribute to your 529, open their own with your child as beneficiary, or pay tuition directly to a school, which a long-standing gift-tax exclusion treats favorably. Each route has different aid and tax wrinkles, so agreeing on the route ahead of time protects everyone's intentions.
Grandparent-owned 529s became friendlier for financial aid after the federal aid form was simplified. Under the FAFSA Simplification Act, beginning with the 2024-25 award year, distributions from a grandparent-owned 529 no longer count as untaxed student income; the question that used to capture money paid on a student's behalf was removed from the form entirely. Under the old rules a $10,000 grandparent withdrawal could cut a student's aid package by as much as $5,000, so this was a meaningful change rather than a technical one. Aid formulas have shifted before and deserve a fresh check in the year they count. The common thread is simple: tell each other the plan. A surprise gift in the wrong year, from the wrong account, can cost more than it gives.
And if a grandparent wants to help but dislikes earmarking money for one grandchild, there's a simpler route: keeping their own plan strong. The oxygen-mask order applies a generation up, too. The best gift inside a family is often three generations that each stand on their own feet.
Building one is a normal first project to do together. A short call is the place to start.
I'd treat that as a last resort. Pausing contributions in your peak earning years removes the money with the most time to compound, and catching up later is harder than it sounds. Before pausing, look at trimming the college goal, adjusting school choice, or using modest loans. Keep at least the employer match if you can.
No. A degree with modest borrowing attached is still an enormous head start, and students with some skin in the game often treat school more seriously. The failure mode to avoid is unlimited borrowing with no plan. A capped, discussed-in-advance loan amount can be part of a healthy college plan.
There's no universal number, because the honest inputs are your goal and your timeline. Decide what share of college you want to fund, estimate the cost for the kind of school you have in mind, and work backward to a monthly amount. Revisit it yearly; the plan made when your child was two will drift.
Once retirement has a funded baseline, earlier is better, because time carries more of the load than the size of your contributions. Starting small at birth beats starting big in high school. If your kids are older, don't let a late start stop you; a shorter runway just shifts the mix toward safer holdings and cash-flow planning.